While we were on holiday in Amsterdam recently, I took the time to reflect on my life, my goals, and myself. One thing that I realised is that I have not been taking care of myself as well as I should have been, especially in order to manage my PCOS, and made a promise to myself to do start doing so once again.
Sure, I was eating healthily (following a low-carb diet for my PCOS), but I was too stressed out, did not exercise or stretch as much as I could, did not take my PCOS supplements as I should have been, did not do yoga or meditate anymore, and did not do any beauty treatments like face masks, hair masks, etc. (and I love my DIY spa days).
Since I have been back, I have been making these things a priority. And while I have been stretching, meditating, taking my supplements, exercising, and doing some DIY beauty treatments like face masks for my PCOS-related acne, I have still been hard on myself for the few areas in which I have been struggling.
Self-compassion is important, and you need to take care of yourself as if you were somebody you loved. So, I decided to write myself a letter:
I know the last few months have been difficult with work, things that have happened that you had to learn how to deal with, and some of your PCOS symptoms that have been getting you down, but look back and see how far you have come. Yes, you did not achieve everything you wanted to, but you achieved a lot, including things you did not expect to.
What will it take for you to feel like you are good enough? Beautiful enough? Because you are. You do not look like a supermodel, but you are beautiful enough.
You have a husband that loves you unconditionally, a beautiful family, a great job, relentless persistence, and long, blonde hair. In a year, your hair should be long enough for you to start looking like a mermaid. How exciting is that?
I am glad you started dancing again, as I know it is the best way for you to feel free from all the stress and anxiety. Never stop dancing. It is one of the best ways that you can take care of your mental health, and you know it.
I am happy that you started going to the gym and stretching again. You always feel better when you do so.
The truth is that you have to believe that you are good enough. I know that part of you gave up because you believe that you will never be able to achieve your goals of having beautiful skin, mermaid hair (that is not frizzy), and a toned body, but you can!
That is just a story that you have been telling yourself. You know what you need to do and now all you have to do is do it and wait. Being patient is not easy, but the main goal should be to take care of yourself as well as you can each day, and to do so according to your circumstances.
If you have had a stressful week or you have bad PMS (PCOS can be a real bitch), it is okay for you to take a night off from working on your passion projects in order to just relax while you have coconut oil in your hair while watching Bridget Jones and eating dark chocolate.
In terms of your PCOS, I am sorry that this happened to you, but I am proud of the fact that you have not given up on trying to improve it, and that every time you do something that sets you back, you are able to start trying again immediately.
It is okay to take a break.
It is okay to not be perfect.
Take care of yourself.
Because you are worth it.”